You Choose to Be Offended

If you really just absorbed that title, which I already mentioned in a prior post, you could be stinging just a bit.

I’ll say it again:  you choose to be offended.

Now, I’m not completely stupid.  Some things are offensive.  Some things are meant to offend.  Call it shock-value, or ignorance, or willful disregard for principles or feelings or values.  And every single one of us has felt offense, and been the object that has suffered offense.  It’s real, and it is awful, and so often, completely unfair.

You can’t change what people do to you.  The only thing you can change is your response to what they do.

This is where people have such a hard time.  It’s like the idea of forgiveness, and isn’t that appropriate?  Usually, the offense that comes to us requires us to forgive.  Somehow, we have copped the idea that to forgive someone of a real or perceived injustice is to minimize what happened, to pretend it wasn’t awful or painful.  That’s not it at all.  Forgiveness is an intentional decision to release someone from your own bitterness, anger, or hatred.  I’m not the first person to note that forgiveness is a bigger benefit to the giver, than to the one to whom it is given.  Forgiveness frees us from being consumed with everything that would eventually wreck our lives.  Evangelist and prophet Lee Stoneking made this profound statement: Bitterness is an acid that will destroy the container.  Offense doesn’t destroy the one who perpetrated the offense.  It destroys the one who carries the acid of bitterness within their spirit.

I’ve watched this horrible acid destroy families and ministries.  The saddest thing I’ve ever watched is when one brother or sister in the Lord is offended by another, and instead of clearing the air or working through the process of forgiveness, they hold on to their injury.  Instead of cultivating a relationship, which will go through natural seasons of testing and trials, they choose instead to nurse their wounds.  They latch on to the pain and focus on the injustice of the event.  They talk about it, over and over again, allowing the Prince of the Power of the Air to revel in its seemingly self-sustaining life, as it floats on the atmosphere from one person to another.  Instead of shutting the door of their prayer closet, and taking their wound to the Master Physician, they go to those who are unskilled in the Word, or even contemptuous of it, and seek the smooth words that salve their ego.  Beware if anyone tries to bring a Word of correction!  To do so, you’ve now placed yourself on the opposing team.  Only those who will tell their itching ears what they want to hear will be allowed.

This is a slippery slope.  It’s so easy to embrace it, too, for it doesn’t take any personal effort to allow yourself to slide on down to the wallowing hole.  But if we truly desire to live free from offense, we simply have to intentionally refuse to be offended—and the sooner, the better.

You know how, when a cut gets infected, the longer it is allowed to go untreated, the worse it hurts—and looks?  It’s the same with an offended spirit.  The longer it takes us to release someone from an offense, the more compromised, the more poisoned, the more contaminated our own spirit will be.  An infected cut is sore and tender—just bump it against something, and you know what I mean.  It’s red, and swollen, and fiery with a fever.  If left untreated, it can devolve into septicemia, defined as  blood poisoning, especially that caused by bacteria or their toxins. 

Is that what you want for your spirit?  Do you want a bunch of spiritual bacteria, evidenced by toxic attitudes, feelings and intentions, poisoning your relationship with God?

How’s that workin’ for ya?

You may think that that other person deserves judgment.  You may be right.  You may know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they don’t deserve your forgiveness.  They aren’t entitled to your goodwill; they haven’t earned your kindness. 

I understand.

But consider for a moment what the Lord did for each of us.

Romans 5:1-8 KJV

¹Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: ² By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

³ And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;⁴ And patience, experience; and experience, hope:⁵ And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

⁶ For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.

⁸ But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

That’s the issue, in a nutshell.  While we were yet sinners, He died for us. 

It wasn’t because I had it all together.  It wasn’t because I was some spiritual superhero.  I was a mess, y’all.  There was no doubt in my mind that I needed God.  I had a lot of potential, just like every one of us do, to either go MY way (cue Frank Sinatra), or go HIS way.  Potential runs in two directions.

Thank the good Lord I had the sense to desire His way.  But with great “power” comes great responsibility…and part of that is a requirement to seek forgiveness and reconciliation, to submit and humble myself to my brothers and sisters in the Lord.  For I am just a sinner at whom Jesus chose to refused to be offended with.  
Who am I to deny that same office to another?   And God isn't unable to bring the appropriate justice, just because I've released my right to be offended.  He is sovereign.  He will do what is right.

You hold great power in your hand.  Joshua asked the children of Israel to make a choice, to either forsake the Amorites and their ways, or choose the ways of their deliverer, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  

Even today, the same choice exists.

What will you choose?  Death, or life?  Blessing, or cursing?  Offense, or forgiveness? 

It’s completely up to you.  But no one ever affects only their own self with their choice.  The ripple effects run in all directions, friends.  Just be prepared for the consequences.