Birthday Reflections

Today is my birthday.  Today, I turn 51 years old.  It’s beyond my comprehension some days that I can say I’ve marked 5 decades of life, but I’m grateful for the many gifts that God has granted me. 

Last year, just before my 50^th birthday, God took away my anxiety about being 50, and gave me a new perspective.  He impressed upon me that in scripture, 50 represents Jubilee.  It represents release, and restoration.  50 is a big deal.  I don’t know if I was expecting fireworks and fanfare all year long, but I was grateful that He took away my fear, and helped me be at peace.

Even with everything I feel like God has allowed me to do and to see, I am keenly aware today of what a work-in-progress I am.  Sometimes, my shortcomings loom and I am almost speechless at how, even as a mature, 50+ adult, I need the grace, direction, and correction of the Father.

It’s so easy to become distracted.  It’s so easy to let your focus drift from what it should be, to something meaningless and hollow.  It’s so easy to fill your time up with thoughtless, mind-numbing pursuits that never add any real value to your life.

I don’t want this to be so with me.  I’m SO GUILTY.  Please don’t see this as preachy, because I’m just really endeavoring to be TRANSPARENT.  But we have souls that will live on ETERNALLY, and when we reach that place, where we are face-to-face with our eternity, we won’t have a smartphone, or a streaming video service, or a video game to distract us from our situation.  Oh, there will be a streaming video, but it will be a replay of our lives here on earth, and all the times God was tugging gently on our hearts, trying to get our attention.  It’ll be clip after clip of all the times we pushed past that nudge, and turned up the volume on the tablet, trying to drown out the still, small voice of God.

And what will we say on that day?  That we were bored?  That we were just killing a few minutes?  Look, that’s not always wrong.  But what if He is trying to talk to us about someone who desperately needs us to call and be the voice of reassurance, or extend a hand of fellowship, and all we can think about is when we can next binge-watch our favorite series on Netflix or Prime?

I AM SO GUILTY.  Please don’t think I’m shaking my finger at you!  I’m here with tears running down my cheek, because I want the rest of my days to be more fruitful, more productive, more filled with REAL MINISTRY than they have ever been.  I’m tired of the grind.  I’m tired of just existing from weekend to weekend, from paycheck to paycheck.  I’m tired of filling my ears with the voices of those who care NOTHING for me, because they don’t even know me.  I’m tired of giving influence to those who have no interest in me at all, with the exception of what monetary gain they receive from my attention.

This morning I watched a message by Pastor Raymond Woodward.  It’s entitled #selfie: Devoted to Distraction. It’s powerful, to say the least, but it’s humorous and soul-searching, too.  In many ways, it provoked these thoughts today, for I feel like it captured a “selfie” of my spirit-man.  In it, he quotes the account of Mary and Martha from the book of Luke.  Bro. Woodward describes the scene, and notes that he hears a tone of compassion from Jesus, and not one of anger, as he reaches forth a generous and comforting hand to her.

Luke 10:38-42 NLT

³⁸ As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. ³⁹ Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
⁴¹ But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! ⁴² There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

There is only ONE THING worth being concerned about.  Time in His presence, listening to Him speak into our lives.

So, what do I want for my birthday?  This is my prayer today:

God, I need you.  Just like that beautiful old song says, I need You every hour.  I know that this is just part of the struggle that everyone faces, but I am pleading with you to be my help and strength. Like Mary and Martha, help me choose the better part, the things what are worthy of my thoughts and efforts, and remember that sitting at Your feet is more important than any busy work I can find to do. Give me the gift of balance, and the gift of self-discipline, and let the gift of awareness and compassion flow through me to those you would have me SEE.

I thank You for your love and care, and though my heart is pricked today, it also senses Your great love and forgiveness.  I KNOW YOU ARE FOR ME!  I know You are working every day to make me into the woman you have called me to be.  You are the potter; I am the clay.  I place myself in Your tender, skillful, masterful hands.  You alone know exactly how to fashion me, and I pray for the grace to never resist or to assume what that finished vessel will look like.  You are a good, good Father. In fact, You are the BEST. No earthly father could ever compare to You.

Be encouraged!  He is FOR US!  Just remember to lay aside the weights—the distractions—that would keep us from hearing and responding to that gentle, quiet, loving, teaching voice that is able to save our souls.

It’s going to be worth it all, some beautiful, happy day.