Fear Itself

I have a confession to make.  Are you ready for this?

Fear keeps trying to get a hold of me.  And I am over it.

I believe the Word of God.  I’m sold out to His Kingdom.  I sing “I Won’t Go Back” like it’s my personal theme song.  I truly have NO DESIRE to go back to the systems of this world.  To say the ‘pleasures’ of sin lack appeal for me is the grossest of understatements…thank God for His mercy.

I know God has been so much better than good to my family.  I KNOW it says that He has plans—GOOD plans for me, and for my husband and son.

But at the strangest moments, through seemingly insignificant events, doubt will creep in.  Fear starts its nibbling and poking; depression and anxiety and irritation and worry start circling my mind and heart until there is a boa-constrictor like vise grip squeezing me breathless.

And it comes from out of nowhere.  It’ll come at the most inopportune times, through the silliest and most innocuous source.  After a dinner with beloved family, for example…and one comment, one dig, one look, and my mind starts reeling on until I’m mentally years down the road and everything is a mess.  I’m suddenly grumpy, or mysteriously quiet, or so deep in thought (and heading down the wrong path there), and I’m punishing those around me with my emotional withdrawl.

When will I LEARN?

This morning, I began watching a message by Bro. David Bernard, entitled “When the Devil Says No.”  He relates the story of Moses and the 12 Hebrew spies sent to bring back a report on the Promised Land.  He sums up the story of the 10 spies who gave the evil report, negatively portraying their chances of obtaining the land.  Their lack of faith in the promises of God, despite all the miraculous they’d seen and been a part of, was their undoing.  It condemned the 10 spies to death, and those who believed the negative report to 40 years of wandering in the wilderness.

Forty YEARS.  Wandering in circles, never able to obtain the promises.  Because they gave in to FEAR.  Because they listened to the voices who saw the bounty, the potential—but discounted God’s ability and even more than that, His faithfulness to come through with the things He said He would perform. 

Sometimes, my chief fear is that this is ME.  Despite ALL He’s done, despite all He’s blessed me with, despite all He’s brought me through—instead of resting in that, I will allow myself to be gripped by insecurity and unbelief.  I begin to think that somehow, He didn’t mean me when He was passing out promises.  I was just some interloper who happened to overhear a conversation of blessing meant for someone else.  An imposter.  Like a photo-bomber, who popped up in the background, unwanted, unexpected, and uninvited.

The next time around, when the children of Israel were standing on the brink of their Promised Land, there was an entirely different mindset, and entirely different generation waiting and ready to possess their promise.  Only the two faithful spies, Joshua and Caleb, remained.  And they had waited over 40 years for this moment.  They’d always believed. 

And this time, when Joshua sends only 2 spies (because, let’s face it, why muck things up with all those extra opinions?), they encounter Rahab, who gives them the news they’d been waiting 40 years to hear.

Joshua 2:8-11 KJV

⁸ Now before they lay down, she came up to them on the roof, ⁹ and said to the men: “I know that the Lord has given you the land, that the terror of you has fallen on us, and that all the inhabitants of the land are fainthearted because of you. ¹⁰ For we have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to the two kings of the Amorites who were on the other side of the Jordan, Sihon and Og, whom you utterly destroyed. ¹¹ And as soon as we heard these things, our hearts melted; neither did there remain any more courage in anyone because of you, for the Lord your God, He is God in heaven above and on earth beneath.

Anyone else besides me thinking that it was all *crickets* right here?  (Raise your hand if you would’ve been ready to dig up the bodies of the 10 negative spies, and give them a piece of your mind.  Because, honey, I admit that I’d be thinking about it!)  Do you understand?  Rahab is recounting events that in some cases, are 40 years old!  These people in Jericho have been shaking in their boots over Israel for FORTY YEARS!

Why are we fearful?  The LORD our God—HE IS GOD!

Bro. Bernard made these points, and I’m paraphrasing, but here goes:

“The devil may come against you, but resist the devil and HE WILL FLEE from you!  He has no power over you!  The only power he has is the power of BLUFF.  If you stand up against his lies and claim the promises of faith, THERE IS NOTHING the devil can do about it!

“He’s trembling in fear that you will see the potential for revival.  God believes in YOU!  Even the devil believes.  That’s why he’s fighting so hard!

“Even the devil sees your potential.  BUT YOU HAVE TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF!  When the devil says you CAN’T, God says you CAN!  You WILL inherit the promise of God!”

Honestly, that’s as far as I’ve gotten in the message, and I’m only 11 minutes in.  But oh!  What an 11 minutes!

I WILL see my family saved.

I WILL see my son be the anointed warrior for Christ that he is destined to be.

I WILL have a prosperous, anointed, purposeful future, for the best is yet to come.

I WILL be blessed in the city and the country; I am the head, and not the tail.

I WILL see the salvation of the Lord!

Why?  Because I’m worthy?

No.  Because HE PROMISED IT! 

2 Peter 3:8-10 NLT

⁸ But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day. ⁹ The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.

His promises come when they are supposed to come, because He knows that if He releases things into our life before we are ready, it could destroy us.  We have to be in the right place, emotionally, spiritually, and physically to be able to embrace His promises and to encounter their full potential.  That’s why God didn’t allow Moses to push the children of Israel over the hill despite their fears—they’d have been utterly destroyed, not because God was unable, but because of their unbelief.  When everything came to a screeching halt, and  they had to spend the next 40 years wandering in circles in Sinai, they had plenty of time to repent, and get their attitudes right—and make sure that the next generation was ready to obtain what should’ve been theirs.

Lord, I repent right now of my foolish fears, of giving ear to the voices of my inadequacies.  I repent for ever believing for a moment that somehow, you’d made a mistake with me, or that I’d just been a stowaway on the great ship of your grace and mercy.  I’m NOT an illegal alien in the Kingdom of God.

Far from that.  I am an adopted daughter of the King of kings.  I’m in the bloodline.  I have an inheritance.  And I can go to my Father whenever I want, and He will gather me up, and remind me of the good things He has for my life.

There’s a move in our society right now, calling out those perceived as bullies.  Let me tell you something—there is no bigger, more loud-mouthed bully right now that the enemy of our souls.  He doesn’t know when to shut up.  He talks, and talks, and talks, and he never says anything that builds us up.  He only tears us down.

But my Father says different.  So I’m going to go to Him, and with Him standing behind me, I’m going to tell that bully what I KNOW. 

He’s a liar.

He’s a thief and a robber.

He couldn’t, as Bro. Jeff Arnold says, ‘tell the truth standing on a Bible looking at Jesus.’

He IS scared to death of the blood of Jesus, which covers my life, and my family, and my church.

He is doomed to an eternity in the Lake of Fire. 

He has no hope of reprieve.

He BACKSLID when there WAS NO DEVIL.

He is a loser in every conceivable way, and I refuse to give him access to my thoughts.

The work of Calvary ensured that the Blood of Jesus Christ has ended His dominion, and his days are numbered.

Sir Winston Churchill is famous for his observation:  “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

Remember, if you’re a blood-bought, adopted child of God, redeemed by Him, purchased with a price, and filled with His Spirit—that is the trump card that should send fear packing.

In Jesus’ Name.  Remember whose you are.