Fear Not--You Are Not Alone

Oh, my heart.  Please forgive me while I vent! 

I’m not ignorant—I know that there are other folks out there with so many more difficult trials than I have.  My blessings are many, and God has been better to me than I deserve.

However, I’m not going to lie about this:  I am struggling with being overwhelmed by helplessness as I watch my beloved son struggle—with himself, mostly.  And I’ve probably punished myself more than anyone else.

Take an interesting little trip into the thought-life going on inside my head right now. (Make sure you have your finger on the Escape key, and don’t be afraid to eject yourself whenever you’ve had enough!)

If I was the mother I am supposed to be, he wouldn’t be struggling the way he is.

There must be something wrong with how we’ve chosen to raise him.

If I was what he needed, he’d be flourishing.

I am not enough.  I am not what he needs.  I am failing.  I am so, SO failing.

Oh, Lord.  This is the war being waged in my mind.  And if I didn’t have the Word of God to go to, I might even believe it all.  If I didn’t have a testimony of how this precious boy came into our lives through the miracle of adoption—and how God practically laid him in our laps—I might believe it all.

BUT GOD!

God DID provide us a beautiful son to raise!  God knew the end from the beginning!  I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A MIRACLE!

Of course, as my beloved pastor Rick Olson says, “Everyone wants to see a miracle.  Everyone wants a miracle.  NO ONE wants to NEED a miracle!”

Yup…I am SO THERE.

This post won’t be nearly as lengthy and philosophical as most of my posts, but let me set it forth to encourage someone:  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  YOU, in God’s hands, ARE ENOUGH.

God chose this boy for ME.  God chose him to be in OUR FAMILY.  God brought this divine appointment into our lives, and HE is in control.

Things happen that feel like I’m riding a completely out-of-control, badly maintained, shopping-center-parking-lot carnival ride.  But when I stop for a moment and close my eyes—I KNOW WHO IS REALLY IN CHARGE, and who can abort the ride at any time.  He offers me protection, despite the chaos.

Lord Jesus, I recognize Your sovereignty.  I do ask for Your mercy, but I also know You are FOR me.  Please keep your hand upon us in the storm, and help us all to learn the lessons we need.  Undergird, and give us refreshing, and peace that passes all understanding.  I am in need of your assurance today.

Hang in there!  Trust Him.  He hasn’t—and never will be—evicted from the Throne.

He’s got the job.  Forever.